De-Idealizing Relational Theory: A Critique From Within edited by Lewis Aron, Sue Grand and Joyce Slochower, Routledge,
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Book Review De-Idealizing Relational Theory: A Critique From Within edited by Lewis Aron, Sue Grand and Joyce Slochower, Routledge, Abingdon and New York, 2018, 239 pp. AND The Unobtrusive Relational Analyst: Explorations in Psychoanalytic Companioning by Robert Grossmark, Routledge, Abingdon and New York, 2018, 207 pp.
Joyce Slochower, an editor of the thought-provoking compilation, De-Idealizing Relational Theory, introduces her lead chapter, ‘‘Going too far: Relational Heroines and Relational Excess’’ (pp. 8–34), with this statement from her previous writing: ‘‘Every psychoanalytic theory is organized around an implicit clinical ideal—a vision of the kind of analyst we want to be and the kind of change we hope psychoanalysis will effect (p. 8). This volume encompasses that ideal. Every author included here has a significant psychodynamic past from which he or she set out, a theoretical and clinical present with which they work—and another to which they aspire. Branding themselves relational or not, this book enables the reader to safely determine where within the Relational turn in psychoanalysis that they themselves fit and stimulates any personal biases or criticisms of it. These range from those principles discovered in their formative education that they cannot relinquish, to the theory that they now generally uphold, what they want not to forget, what they wish to alter or even discard, and moreover, what feels missing or insufficient. The book will kindle an internal discussion among relational analysts that can then progress to a better understanding for psychoanalysts of every stripe about what should be deemed relational. In 1983, during the wide readership of Jay Greenberg’s and Stephen Mitchell’s pivotal examination, Object Relations in Psychoanalytic Theory (1983), and a growing discontent with ego psychology, the relational psychoanalytic groundswell emerged. Individuals and organizations were excited by what seemed like the cutting edge of theory-building and felt privileged to continue an evolving set of ideas that ultimately became the last major psychoanalytic platform—although in its conception, it was only a conversation and not a fixed theory per se. It was a resifting of the two-person ideologies, having in common a move away from drive theory. It was ‘‘meant to be a description not a prescription’’ (Greenberg interview, p. 44). The editors now believe, however, that relational thinking has become somewhat bogged down by the same restrictions many major theories experience—a small tent perspective—which De-Idealizing Relational Theory considers self-limiting and rigidifying. They see a need to re-enter the larger community of psychoanalysis as
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explorers and to hold relational theory up to the same light that we ask of our patients: a self-examination and critique and hopefully an understanding and reformulation that can foster growth. Over-used approaches can be rethought in order to inspire more meaningful clinical attitudes and behaviors, but without abandoning the ship
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