Exile

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73 exile Marta RaquelZabaleta

abstract Marta Raquel Zabaleta's autobiographical piece takes us through the trajectory of her exile as an Argentinian refugee, first in Glasgow and then in London. Forced to flee with her husband, a Chilean UN refugee, she describes the differences between the ways her husband and herself were treated by those in solidarity groups and other aid organizations and the particular difficulties faced by women refugees. She explores the isolating effects of having her professional identity and status erased as a refugee and of being relegated to the sole status of 'wife'. Zabaleta also insists on the fundamental rights of refugees and asylum seekers to have both their histories and their desires for the future acknowledged by those in the host country.

keywords refugee; exile; Argentina; Chile; women

feminist

review

73 2003

(19-38) (? 2003 FeministReview.0141-7789/03$15 www.feminist-review.com

19

... the sun and a paper smile were left in my room ... Pipo Pescador Buenos Aires, 1975

I

like a duck in an alien puddle1 the

absent

(Between

an identity

duckling: 07:00,

Headquarters,

November

15th

in transition 1976,

the

Federal

Police

Co-Ordination

Buenos Aires, and 19:00, 16th November 1976, Holland Park Hotel,

London). I held my breath. And again I looked back, but this time with more apprehension. From the front seat of the car I was trying to foresee the destiny of my daughter, Yaninita's, duckling, lost now in Buenos Aires. We had left him alone, abandoned to his fate, in the city of terror. Would he now feel more of an orphan than before? The animal, however, was walking rapidly, but almost sideways...

He might have

felt a little tremor of anxiety, but was hiding it under a certain aristocratic

air, as

if defying freedom with a sense of offended decorum. At the same time, he looked That his little yellow wings and little newly sprouted

as if his legs had stretched.

black feathers had grown, to propel him directly to the lake. In short, Duckling was expectant. His future scared him, but at the same time, excited him. Everything was reduced to a philosophical

problem: how to feel an equal among equals, how

survival amongst strangers.

to guarantee

lay an unknown future, but also there would be certain options. And what about feeling like a New Duck with post-modern anxieties? Ah! Because of course we must not forget that freedom offers us the chance to acquire a new identity - a wide variety of options that are neither necessarily concentric It is true that ahead

nor always complementary. anticipated

and actual

Schizophrenia?

identities.

More like an incompatibility

between

The chasms that exist between the imaginary

self that inhabits fantasy and the boring surrounding reality. To reason or to feel, to act or to reflect. Ideas frequently fighting against each other (or others), in the ancient struggle of ideolog