Fantasies About Consensual Nonmonogamy Among Persons in Monogamous Romantic Relationships
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SPECIAL SECTION: IASR 2018 SYMPOSIUM ON CONSENSUAL NON-MONOGAMY
Fantasies About Consensual Nonmonogamy Among Persons in Monogamous Romantic Relationships Justin J. Lehmiller1 Received: 18 February 2019 / Revised: 6 May 2020 / Accepted: 29 June 2020 © Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2020
Abstract The present research explored fantasies about consensual nonmonogamous relationships (CNMRs) and the factors that predict such fantasies in a large and diverse online sample (N = 822) of persons currently involved in monogamous relationships. Nearly one-third (32.6%) of participants reported that being in some type of sexually open relationship was part of their favorite sexual fantasy of all time, of whom most (80.0%) said that they want to act on this fantasy in the future. Those who had shared and/or acted on CNMR fantasies previously generally reported positive outcomes (i.e., meeting or exceeding their expectations and improving their relationships). In addition, a majority of participants reported having fantasized about being in a CNMR at least once before, with open relationships being the most popular variety. Those who identified as male or non-binary reported more CNMR fantasies than those who identified as female. CNMR fantasies were also more common among persons who identified as anything other than heterosexual and among older adults. Erotophilia and sociosexual orientation were uniquely and positively associated with CNMR fantasies of all types; however, other individual difference factors (e.g., Big Five personality traits, attachment style) had less consistent associations. Unique predictors of infidelity fantasies differed from CNMR fantasies, suggesting that they are propelled by different psychological factors. Overall, these results suggest that CNMRs are a popular fantasy and desire among persons in monogamous romantic relationships. Clinical implications and implications for sexual fantasy research more broadly are discussed. Keywords Sexual fantasy · Consensual nonmonogamy · Polyamory · Swinging · Open relationships · Cuckolding · Infidelity In a consensual nonmonogamous relationship (CNMR), partners permit one another the opportunity to have more than one concurrent sexual and/or romantic relationship. Interest in this type of relationship appears to be on the rise. For example, searches related to polyamory and open relationships have increased on internet search engines over the past decade (Moors, 2017). At the same time, “how to” books and guides to CNMRs have begun to proliferate, and increases have occurred in both popular media depictions and coverage in mainstream news outlets. Public opinion polls suggest that this surge in interest goes beyond mere curiosity and, for many, reflects a desire to practice consensual nonmonogamy. For example, a recent YouGov poll featuring a demographically representative sample of 1000 * Justin J. Lehmiller [email protected] 1
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