The Evolution of an Indian Family Counselor: A Personal Account
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The Evolution of an Indian Family Counselor: A Personal Account Ritikaa Khunnah1 KEY WORDS: Indian family counsellor; integrating the personal and professional; patriarchal construction of woman; feminist perspective.
A PERSONAL ACCOUNT A year back I walked into my counseling room. The room was familiar, but there was something different. My first client was waiting for me. I reminded myself of all the mainstream counseling and feminist theories that I had read. I felt a little nervous, but told myself “I know all the counseling theories, therefore I am prepared.” A year later, I know that I was ill prepared despite my knowledge of theories. Theories that remained an academic tool to be applied and which I knew well in my head. But would they be effective, if they were outside of “me”? I was caught in the dilemma of preaching concepts that I realized I may not be practicing myself. Could I wear the garb of a feminist counselor at work (“9 to 5 feminism” as I call it) and go back home and don my role of the dutiful silent daughter? Could I ask women whom I counseled to teach children the values of truth and honesty, when they were not true to themselves? Did the same apply to me? Was I being dishonest in my work and in my relationships with the women who looked upon me as a friend and teacher? Was I ready to bear the costs? In this age of information and universal exchange of experiences and learning, it is apt that we are here to discuss the need to widen the scope of counseling. Our aim being that of evolving as effective counselors. This would require us to integrate newer tools and techniques with the reality of others as well as mine. It is in this regard that I share certain experiences, questions and techniques with you, as a feminist practitioner, counseling women in situations of violence. 1 Correspondence
should be directed to Ritikaa Khunnah; e-mail: [email protected]. 415 C 2004 Springer Science+Business Media, Inc. 0165-0653/04/1200-0415/0
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My personal dilemma regarding my own work brought to me the importance of trying to integrate my professional and personal. I would not be doing justice to either the women or myself if I were unable or unwilling to bridge the gap that I saw. I am the medium I use while I counsel. Due to this it was necessary to take a journey inwards. A journey that has been the most difficult of all journeys and one filled with temptations to turn back. The process has been rewarding and one that has helped me become a better counselor. Until I began my own journey, I was a foreign land to myself, a mystery that I never dared or allowed myself to unfold. Sexuality and spirituality were all alien concepts to me and I was silenced by them. This has changed since I incorporated feminism into my reality. Feminist analysis has helped me travel to a seemingly foreign land to gain an understanding of women’s context and find my own truth. Today I see a reflection of myself in almost all women who approach me. Silence is again what I have to play with when I ask women
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