Avoidantly Attached Individuals Are More Exchange-Oriented and Less Communal in the Bedroom
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ORIGINAL PAPER
Avoidantly Attached Individuals Are More Exchange‑Oriented and Less Communal in the Bedroom Stephanie Raposo1 · Emily A. Impett2 · Amy Muise1 Received: 12 August 2019 / Revised: 27 July 2020 / Accepted: 29 July 2020 © Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2020
Abstract Sexual need fulfillment in a relationship is associated with both partners’ sexual and relationship quality. In the current research, we explored what underlies two approaches to sexual need fulfillment—sexual communal norms (i.e., being motivated to meet a partner’s sexual needs) and sexual exchange norms (i.e., tracking and trading sexual benefits). People high in attachment avoidance are less responsive to their partner’s needs and distance themselves from intimacy. Sexuality is a domain in which partners aim to meet each other’s needs, but it may also heighten avoidantly attached partners’ concerns about intimacy. Across three studies (N = 711)—using cross-sectional, dyadic, daily experience, and longitudinal methods—endorsing sexual communal norms was associated with greater sexual and relationship quality, whereas endorsing sexual exchange norms was not associated with, or was linked to lower, sexual and relationship quality. People who were higher (compared to lower) in attachment avoidance were less sexually communal and more exchange-oriented, and their heightened endorsement of sexual exchange norms predicted lower relationship satisfaction over time. With two exceptions, the effects were largely consistent for men versus women. Findings from this research suggest that attachment avoidance underlies approaches to sexual need fulfillment in relationships. Keywords Attachment avoidance · Sexual communion · Sexual exchange · Relationships
Introduction Sexuality is one domain of relationships in which partners aim to meet each other’s needs (e.g., Muise, Impett, Kogan, & Desmarais, 2013). Sexual need fulfillment, as opposed to the fulfillment of other types of needs, may be particularly impactful for relationship satisfaction given that most romantic relationships are sexually monogamous (Blanchflower & Oswald, 2004) and people expect to have their sexual needs met by their romantic partner (Day, Muise, Joel, & Impett, 2015). Research has shown that when people are motivated to be responsive to their partner’s sexual needs (i.e., high sexual communion), both partners report Electronic supplementary material The online version of this article (https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01813-9) contains supplementary material, which is available to authorized users. * Stephanie Raposo [email protected] 1
Department of Psychology, York University, Behavioural Sciences Building, 4700 Keele Street, Toronto, ON M3J 1P3, Canada
2
Department of Psychology, University of Toronto Mississauga, Mississauga, ON, Canada
higher sexual desire, satisfaction, and commitment, compared to when people are less sexually communal (Muise & Impett, 2015; Muise et al., 2013). One approach often contrasted with endorsing
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