Guilt
People feel a sense of guilt when they feel they have breached a standard which they or others value. The Nature and Timing of Guilt is discussed. Guilt is also associated with shame, envy, and self-pity. Is guilt always negative? How do mentors assist me
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Guilt
My guiding principle is this: Guilt is never to be doubted. —Franz Kafka
Abstract People feel a sense of guilt when they feel they have breached a standard which they or others value. The Nature and Timing of Guilt is discussed. Guilt is also associated with shame, envy, and self-pity. Is guilt always negative? How do mentors assist mentees discuss issues around guilt and support them in this process?
While the quote above is taken out of context, its tenet holds as reading this chapter will show. Guilt, regardless of context, is self-limiting. Many constraints are self-imposed. These are the cognitive and emotional impediments that have taken hold over time, based on self-limiting, often rigidly held assumptions and attitudes about the way “I am”. Mentoring mindedness seeks to address these by “unpicking” and understanding them. Reflection and feedback is important in this process, questioning these assumptions and attitudes to penetrate the underlying guilt. The mentor and the mentee work to enhance the latter’s self-awareness as a way of encouraging them to achieve their aspirations and overcoming perceived fault. Guilt is an emotion limited by internal censoring rather than by external influences. However, it is primarily a reactional stance by a mentee to the internal sentients, often perceived as being externally imposed. Moreover, a person may have experienced guilt for so long that it is now a deep-seated part of their self-concept. It may also act as a self-preservation stratagem which impedes their development as they continue to respond to its negative rather than positive components. All emotions develop as a response to an external or internal impetus. Emotions are useful in some situations and become impediments in others. All emotions serve some function at the time when they occur. Emotions become dysfunctional when they no longer serve the mentee’s purpose, prolonged and block personal development (Izard 1977). When emotions become dysfunctional, they undermine the opportunity for realistic self-assessment. It is at this point of dysfunctionality that a person may decide they need assistance, not realising the part that guilt as an overriding emotion may be contributing to their predicament.
© Springer International Publishing Switzerland 2016 A.M. Brewer, Mentoring from a Positive Psychology Perspective, DOI 10.1007/978-3-319-40983-2_6
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Guilt
The need for seeking a mentor is an overarching desire to fulfil one’s expectations fuelled by a sense of trepidation that this is unlikely to happen. The apprehension is a deep-seated linked to a sense of self-guilt which is two-edged. It contains (a) the initial source of anxiety or felt guilt, for example, unfulfilled expectation about career aspirations or an experience of a significant failure combined with (b) feelings of embarrassment about feeling guilty. In addition to unfulfilled ambitions or disappointments, self-guilt also emanates from difficult conversations with colleagues and wide-ranging, troublesome situations. Guilt is f
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