On (Writing) Families Autoethnographies of Presence and Absence, Lov

Who are we with—and without—families? How do we relate as children to our parents, as parents to our children? How are parent-child relationships—and familial relationships in general—made and (not) maintained? Informed by narrative, performance studies,

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On (Writing) Families Autoethnographies of Presence and Absence, Love and Loss

Edited by Jonathan Wyatt The University of Edinburgh, UK and Tony E. Adams Northeastern Illinois University, USA

SENSE PUBLISHERS ROTTERDAM / BOSTON / TAIPEI

A C.I.P. record for this book is available from the Library of Congress.

ISBN 978-94-6209-620-2 (paperback) ISBN 978-94-6209-621-9 (hardback) ISBN 978-94-6209-622-6 (e-book)

Published by: Sense Publishers, P.O. Box 21858, 3001 AW Rotterdam, The Netherlands https://www.sensepublishers.com/

Printed on acid-free paper

All rights reserved © 2014 Sense Publishers No part of this work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording or otherwise, without written permission from the Publisher, with the exception of any material supplied specifically for the purpose of being entered and executed on a computer system, for exclusive use by the purchaser of the work.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

vii

1. Introduction Jonathan Wyatt and Tony E. Adams

1

2. Fatherly Love Mort Mather

7

3. Always Strange: Transforming Loss Stacy Holman Jones

13

4. On Gratitude, for My Father Craig Gingrich-Philbrook

23

5. Confessions of a Feminist Mother Raising a Preteen Daughter Patricia Leavy

31

6. Roses and Grime: Tattoos, Texts, and Failure Desirée Rowe

37

7. What’s in a Name? Secrets, Haunting, and Family Ties Liz Bondi

43

8. From Absence to Presence: Finding Mother, Ever Again Mark Freeman

49

9. Corporeal Kinship: Dancing the Entanglements of Love and Loss Beatrice Allegranti

57

10. Ghost-Child Anne M. Harris

69

11. Living Places Jeannie Wright

77

12. My Daddy is Slick, Brown, and Cool Like Ice Water Robin M. Boylorn

85

13. The Ghostwriter: Living a Father’s Unfinished Narrative Andrew F. Herrmann

95

v

TABLE OF CONTENTS

14. Going Home Kitrina Douglas

103

15. Dying in the Care of the NHS: Fragments from a Daughter’s Love Song for Her Father Jane Speedy

115

16. Temporary Blindness Gunnhildur Una Jonsdottir

123

17. Bedtime Stories Sophie Tamas

131

18. After Dinners, in the Garage, Out of Doors, and Climbing on Rocks: Writing Aesthetic Moments of Father-Son Derek M. Bolen

141

19. Ties that Bind, Ties that Scar Tony E. Adams and Jonathan Wyatt

149

vi

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

We are grateful to the contributors of this collection—without them, this book would not exist. Their enthusiasm, openness and all-round brilliance have been wonderful to work with. We would also like to thank Tony Colon for his help with editing this manuscript, and to Peter de Liefde for his support as well as the opportunity and honor to publish with Sense Publishers. Jonathan I thank the various people around me who have (whether they know it or not) helped sustain me during mine and Tony’s work on this book over the past two years. Their contributions to my life, as well as to this collaborative enterprise, are incalculable. Tony gets the first mention. He has to. His consistently c