Getting to We Negotiating Agreements for Highly Collaborative Relati
Drawing on best practices and real examples from companies who are achieving record results, Getting to We flips conventional negotiation on its head, shifting the perspective from a tug of war between parties to a collaborative partnership where both sid
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GE T T ING TO WE
Negotiating Agreements for Highly Collaborative Relationships
Jeanette Nyden, Kate Vitasek, and David Frydlinger
GETTING TO WE
Copyright © Jeanette Nyden, Kate Vitasek, and David Frydlinger, 2013. All rights reserved. First published in 2013 by PALGRAVE MACMILLAN® in the United States—a division of St. Martin’s Press LLC, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010. Where this book is distributed in the UK, Europe and the rest of the world, this is by Palgrave Macmillan, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited, registered in England, company number 785998, of Houndmills, Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 6XS. Palgrave Macmillan is the global academic imprint of the above companies and has companies and representatives throughout the world. Palgrave® and Macmillan® are registered trademarks in the United States, the United Kingdom, Europe and other countries.
ISBN 978-1-137-60283-1 DOI 10.1057/9781137344151
ISBN 978-1-137-34415-1 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Nyden, Jeanette. Getting to we : negotiating agreements for highly collaborative relationships / Jeanette Nyden, Kate Vitasek, and David Frydlinger. pages cm Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978–1–137–29718–1 (alk. paper) 1. Negotiation in business. 2. Interpersonal relations. 3. Organizational behavior. I. Vitasek, Kate. II. Frydlinger, David. III. Title. HD58.6.N93 2013 658.4⬘052—dc23
2013003785
A catalogue record of the book is available from the British Library. Design by Newgen Imaging Systems (P) Ltd., Chennai, India. First edition: August 2013 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
DEDICATION
We would like to dedicate this book to our partners, who selflessly give us their time, support, and encouragement. Together, we live the principles embodied by Getting to We each day. Tim, Greg, and Caroline: we are in your debt and appreciate all you have done for us. Tim Lohraff (husband) and Isabella and Elizabeth Lohraff Jeanette Nyden Greg Picinich (husband) and Austin Picinich Kate Vitasek Caroline Frydlinger (wife) and Rebecka, Oskar and Klara David Frydlinger
CONTENTS
ix
List of Figures Introduction Chapter 1. What Are You G-e-t-t-i-n-g To?
1 7
SECTION I STEP 1: ESTABLISH A FOUNDATION OF TRUST, TRANSPARENCY, AND COMPATIBILITY
Chapter 2. Chapter 3.
Trust Transparency and Compatibility
25 41
SECTION II A SHARED VISION AND COMMON GUIDING PRINCIPLES
Chapter 4. Chapter 5.
Step 2: Creating a Shared Vision Step 3: Establishing the Six Essential Relationship Principles
63 79
SECTION III STEP 4: NEGOTIATING AS WE
Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8.
Four Rules for Collaborative Negotiations WIIFWe Styles, Strategies, and Tactics Negotiating Money for Mutual Benefit
123 135 155
SECTION IV LIVING AS WE
Chapter 9. Chapter 10. Conclusion
Step 5: Relationship Management The Power of We We Are All Winners
183 207 215
viii
Acknowledgments Notes Index
GETTING TO WE
219 223 231
FIGURES
3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 7.1 7.2 7.3 8.1 8.2 8.3 8.4 9.1 9.2
Comparison of P&G and Jones Lang LaSalle corporate cultures Val
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