Refugee
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Refugee Anna Gotlib 1 # Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2019
By the time the tubes went in The breath came in short gasps Eyes wide, unbelieving That words were failing her That she was failing them That she was failing By the time the tubes came out She was elsewhere, not there Not here, either Not in that room, where ghosts appeared And disappeared through frozen windows Another room, where voices called And mouths screamed And echoes boomed This must be how it is now, she thought This must be home By the time she left that room The ghosts transformed into grey shadows Bearing needles, water, pills “Hold still!” she heard Unsure of who or what or why She did her best And anyway, “still” is all she was All she could ever be “Hold still!” But where would she go, she thought? All doors were closed
* Anna Gotlib [email protected]
1
Philosophy Department, Brooklyn College CUNY, 2900 Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11210, USA
By the time she moved The night became a never-parting guest Backward hours, sideways minutes Seconds scattered randomly across a darkened sky A constant droning wail of the machines Informing others that she was Something that she was not Especially when thick silences descended on the hospital Shifts change, visitors depart But she is And morning fails to take apart the shadows By the time she screamed The shadows parted to reveal Beige blandness, tangled cords And swollen, unfamiliar limbs That refused movement Could not be coaxed to respond Parched lips recovering the words That fled only a little while ago Now coming back in packs Like starved dogs hunting their first post-thaw meal She grasped at them with surprising strength (For there was nothing else to grasp) And let them lead her, staggering, unsteady Out the door Past echoing halls Airless and curtained rooms Past still and ancient bodies following with hollowed eyes Deposited in nameless corners of this strange and foreign land From which she fled Again, a refugee In search of home.
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