Spiritual and Relational Formation: How Contemplative Prayer and Psychodynamic Therapy Enhance Loving God and Others
Spiritual formation practices are not formulaic, self-help strategies for spiritual growth. They can, however, enhance our ability to fulfill the two most important commandments: to love God and to love others. Contemplative prayer is silent prayer in whi
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Spiritual and Relational Formation: How Contemplative Prayer and Psychodynamic Therapy Enhance Loving God and Others Kelly Breen Boyce and Nanci Fisher Erkert Many implications stem from being made in the image of God. The Trinitarian nature of God illustrates the Divine’s relationality—the state or condition of being relational. People of faith often long to experience the mutuality and intimacy evidenced in the Trinity. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit exist in perfect harmony. Many of our relationships, however, are less meaningful than we would like. We desire deeper communion with God and more satisfying relationships, not to mention less conflict with others. We are perplexed that despite this inner longing, true intimacy with others often seems out of reach. Many variables thwart our ability to enjoy more satisfying relationships. Chief among them is the fallen nature of humanity. The Apostle Paul emphasized the pervasiveness of original sin: “Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all [people], because all sinned—for before the law was given, sin was in the world” (Rom. 5:12–13a).1 The doctrine of total
K.B. Boyce ( ) • N.F. Erkert Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, 14542 Choate Circle, Charlotte, NC 28273, USA e-mail: [email protected]; [email protected] © The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s) 2016 D.J. Chandler (ed.), The Holy Spirit and Christian Formation, Christianity and Renewal - Interdisciplinary Studies, DOI 10.1007/978-3-319-42667-9_2
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depravity suggests that sin taints every aspect of creation, including the breadth of human dimensionality (e.g., the will, the mind, and motivations). The capacity for pathology, therefore, is consistently manifested within a generational and relational context: “Each new generation and each new person reaps what others have sown and sow what others will reap.”2 In other words, our individual and collective sin damages future generations, just as we have been harmed by the sinful actions of our ancestors. Psychologists have proposed multiple theories to explain the perpetuation of generational dysfunction. For example, British pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicot studied the psychological needs of children and the likely consequences when they are unmet. Children who experience an absence of nurturing love through consistent parental rejection or unavailability lack the capacity to show or receive affection, and their social and moral sensibilities are often corrupted.3 Thomas Keating, a Trappist monk, describes the false self that develops in order to cope with this kind of emotional trauma.4 Emotional trauma, then, contributes to relationships that lack intimacy, often sustained by a persona, rather than an authentic self. In summary, sin, unmet needs, and personal wounding frustrate our attempts to relate meaningfully with others. Interpersonal disappointment, however, is inevitable among finite, fallen people. To our chagrin,
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