Will My Voice Be Heard?
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PROFESSIONAL ISSUES
Will My Voice Be Heard? Heather Dean Glessner
Received: 1 May 2011 / Accepted: 16 November 2011 / Published online: 14 December 2011 # National Society of Genetic Counselors, Inc. 2011
Keywords Defining moments . Genetic counselor . Personal history of cancer
The pathology report said, “invasive squamous cell carcinoma.” The physician said, “You have cancer.” My mind said……nothing. It was blank, yet simultaneously racing. You see, exactly 1 year to the day that I officially graduated from my genetic counseling training program, I was diagnosed with cancer of the vocal cords. This is my story from then, until now. Whether I like it or not, I have been changed by this experience—personally, professionally, emotionally. Vocal cord cancer threatened my ability to practice in the field of genetic counseling, just as my career was getting started. This journey began seemingly innocuously. My voice went hoarse. It was like I was getting a cold, however the cold never manifested and the hoarseness never abated. I saw several doctors and tried multiple modalities to improve the hoarseness—nothing worked. The possibility of “cancer” was raised at some point, but it was quickly dismissed. I was the wrong gender, age, and had absolutely no risk factors. It couldn’t be cancer, I was told. Obviously, my eventual biopsy showed differently. The diagnosis left me speechless, both figuratively and, in some ways, literally. The biopsy exacerbated my hoarseness. I had been working for less than a year as a
H. D. Glessner (*) Department of Pediatrics, Southern Illinois University School of Medicine, Springfield, IL, USA e-mail: [email protected]
clinical genetic counselor and, post-biopsy, my voice struggled to complete a full day of clinic. I relied on friends, family, and a dry-erase board for assistance in social situations, such as restaurants, because the background noise often muffled my tiny voice to incapacitation. With diagnosis in hand, I needed to make a treatment decision. I had three options: radiation, surgery, or a laser treatment that was not FDA approved. Radiation could lead to future primary tumors and reduced treatment options should I have a recurrence, but had good voice prognosis. Surgery threatened adequate voice quality—there were no guarantees I would be able to function as a genetic counselor following the procedure. The laser treatment, also with good voice prognosis, would require my husbandof-less-than-a-year and me to expend more than $50,000 out of pocket. In addition to needing to make a treatment decision, I was scheduled to take the ABGC certification exam in less than 2 months. Some individuals suggested that I pour myself into studying for the exam, using the boards as an escape from the cancer, but I couldn’t do that. I completely ceased studying. I found it ironic and cruel to try to study for certification in a field in which I could very well be unable to practice. Instead, I used my training in conducting literature reviews to research my treatment options. I strongly con
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