From Mountain Peak to Total Woman: An Evolutionary History of Pre-feminist Dating Advice
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From Mountain Peak to Total Woman: An Evolutionary History of Pre‑feminist Dating Advice Andrew King1
© Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2020
Abstract This article provides a history of relationship advice from the early-1900s to the 1970s, before second-wave feminism exercised more influence on the genre. Whilst previous studies examine the genre from a social constructionist perspective, this paper considers how human biology interacts with the environment (the economy and society) to produce different interpretations of heterosexual relationships. More in line with an evolutionary approach, which views humans as a sexually dimorphic species, the research illustrates that gender roles adapt to changing social and political cues. The survey shows that in times of economic scarcity advice draws on scientific methodologies to highlight more conservative forms of relationship. In times of economic growth, when resources are more abundant, advice becomes more interested in sexuality. Unlike today, most advice was aimed at a mixed-sex readership, and could expose young people more directly to practical insights about the opposite sex. Keywords Dating advice · Heterosexuality · Attraction · History · Evolution
Introduction Some couples, sitting in the mountain glade, alongside of this boulder, and the man stroking it with his hand, […] have suddenly felt themselves lifted up, as by some enchantment, in a moment, and set upon the topmost pinnacle of the mountain from whose summit the whole universe can be seen and understood, and the music of the spheres heard, as the stars move in their orbits. (Wilfred Lay, Confidential Chats with Husbands – 1925) This prose was written almost 100 years ago and, though somewhat indirect in its discussion of sexual relations in marriage, conveys a powerful optimism * Andrew King [email protected] 1
Myanmar Times, Yangon, Myanmar
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about how husbands and wives could interact in the bedroom. The metaphor of mountain-climbing is used to detail the different phases of sexual arousal, and the man’s mindset and techniques that are used to help the husband and wife reach ‘the summit’ together. Masturbatory techniques are one thing in the mountaineer’s rucksack, but they are nothing without the man’s sense of self-control and guiding masculine spirit on ‘the ascent’. This kind of relationship advice was popular in the 1920s, published in the Little Blue Book series, a magazine publication that rivalled the likes of Readers Digest (1922), Time (1923) and the New Yorker (1923). It assumed that the relationship was already built upon the foundations of attraction, trust and shared values. In 1973, some 50 years after Lay’s advice to husbands, Marabel Morgan published one of the most popular relationship advice books ever written—The Total Woman (1973). Much like Lay’s description of sexual seduction in marriage, Morgan’s book also advocated a somewhat traditional view of gender dynamics— only focusing more on the woman’s role
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