Regular Guys 34 Years Beyond Adolescence
As a group, normal middle-aged men tend to fly well below the radar screen of public scrutiny. They are neither deviants nor superheroes. Rarely the subject of movies or newspaper headlines, regular guys aren’t fabulously wealthy, nor are their ambitions
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Regular Guys 34 Years Beyond Adolescence DANIEL OFFER Northwestern University Chicago, Illinois
MARJORIE KAIZ OFFER Northwestern University Chicago, Illinois
and
ERIC OSTROV Private Practice Chicago, Illinois
KLUWER ACADEMIC / PLENUM PUBLISHERS NEW YORK, BOSTON, DORDRECHT, LONDON, MOSCOW
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Offer, Daniel. Regular guys : 34 years beyond adolescence / by Daniel Offer, Marjorie Kaiz Offer, and Eric Ostrov. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references (p. ) and index. ISBN 0-306-48585-0 1. Middle aged men–Psychology–Longitudinal studies. I. Offer, Marjorie Kaiz. II. Ostrov, Eric, 1941– III. Title. BF692.5.O34 2004 155.6 6 081–dc22
2004042178
ISBN 0-306-48548-6 C 2004 by Kluwer Academic / Plenum Publishers, New York
233 Spring Street, New York, New York 10013 http://www.kluweronline.com 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 A C.I.P. record for this book is available from the Library of Congress. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the Publisher, with the exception of any material supplied specifically for the purpose of being entered and executed on a computer system, for exclusive use by the purchaser of the work. Permissions for books published in Europe: [email protected] Permissions for books published in the United States of America: [email protected] Printed in the United States of America
To Kenneth I. Howard Happy the man who finds a generous friend Greek Proverb
To Seymour P. Kaiz, M.D. and Ruth Jacobson Kaiz who always believed it could be done ˜ con amor A` mi esposa y todos mis ninos hasta siempre
Acknowledgments
Completing any scholarly study requires the help of many colleagues, friends, and family. Since the adulthood phase of the Offer Longitudinal Study was primarily self-funded by the senior and second author, supportive expertise was given, for the most part, pro bono. Our gratitude to those who contributed their skills is indescribable. At every step of the project, these persons gave with a generosity that is unmatched in our experience. We received expert consultation in each phase of this study from the late Kenneth I. Howard, Professor of Psychology, Northwestern University and the Patricia M. Nielsen Research Chair, The Family Institute at Northwestern University. He was with the project from its inception in 1963. The sharing of his time, intellect, and resources during an 11-year period of this study made this entire endeavor possible. We miss him profoundly. Of great assistance to us was a three-year research grant from Thomas F. Pick of Northfield, Illinois. His investment in our efforts gave us enormous affirmation and allowed us to continue with enhanced confidence. We shall always be grateful for this gift. We are deeply indebted to the late Judith Baskin Offer and Melvin Sabshin whose contributions to the first two books in this study, T
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